Everything is swirling around, changing, rearranging, leaving me out of whatever loop I’m supposed to be in. And still I don’t know what happens next. But the difference, is that I don’t even know what is happening now. There was a point in time where I thought at least I had that figured out. The future remains a mystery, but hey, it’s a nice day today. And I know exactly where I am.
Not so anymore. I feel as though if I were to look down at my feet, that I would find myself standing on the edge of an abyss. Or maybe floating just over it. It’s why I never look where I’m going. I’m afraid of what I might see. Better to remain in the dark. What? No, I haven’t a clue what happens next. It’s safer that way. Or at least it feels like it. Even if it means being constantly surprised. Shoulda seen that coming! But we never do. We never learn.
I’m gonna hire a PA. Somebody to plan and coordinate my life. Where should I go tomorrow? What do I need to do? Somebody to make me lists, and check off the items as I complete them. Look what progress I’m making!
Fancy that it took somebody else in order for me to see it.